Heart Problems

Two women show up for church, dressed essentially identically: mid-calf length dresses with a "modest" neckline, hose, and low-heeled pumps.  Hair is neatly done, make-up well-applied but not obvious.  If you were to see these women on a daily basis, you'd probably see variations on the theme, pants some days, sneakers maybe, but nothing that anyone would find particularly immodest.

But their hearts are in two different places -- one, with a heart to worshipping God, and not setting a stumbling block for her brothers and sisters in Christ; the other with a heart to show off just how "modest" she is.  The first has a thriving relationship with Christ, and her wardrobe, lifestyle choices, and daily life reflects that.  The second has a list of rules that she tries very hard to live by, maybe she's a Christian, maybe she just tries to look like one.

Here's the thing -- everything we do is to be done with our heart.  Modesty isn't about how we dress.  Modesty is about not drawing undue attention to ourselves.  Does this impact our clothing choices? It should.  Does it impact whether or not we audition for the solo at church?  It should.

If our heart is not in truly glorifying God, then anything we do is truly just self-glory. It is idol worship, and the idol is ME.

At the heart of it all is the heart. Where is my heart? To Whom (or whom) does it belong?

A Question to Ponder

With last Sunday being Mother's Day, and Saturday being Birth Mother's Day, I began to ponder a few things. One of which is this:
One of the big justifications I hear for having an abortion is "I could never just GIVE UP my baby to someone else!" in a horrified manner. My question is this - how is having your baby murdered any better than giving them up for someone else to love? What makes this option more palatable to so many young women? How have we as a society made it that way? What are we failing to teach or believe that leads young women to this conclusion?
OK, that's more than one question, but it's all related. I have no answers for any of those questions, but I think it's well worth pondering. And maybe making some changes.

"Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin" (part 2)

In part 1, I discussed the fact that we are not loving people well when we accept the sin...  (The TRUTH part of speaking the truth in love.)

Now I want to discuss the LOVING part of speaking the truth in love.  Otherwise, we're just Westboro "Baptist Church".  (I put those last two in quotes on purpose.  They are not a real church.)

We must be careful when we confront someone, or let someone know that something is a sin.

I find this a pretty simple procedure for me (even though I don't always follow it!)  The question is -- "How do I react when someone disagrees with me on this?"  If I am loving them, a decision to continue in sin will break my heart and drive me to prayer.  If I am simply being driven out of a desire to "be right," I will get angry.  All too often, I am speaking out of a desire to be right.

Am I gloating over how "wrong" the person is, how "holy" I am?  Am I behaving like the Pharisee in Luke 18:10-14?  If so, I need to work this out FIRST, through prayer and repentance. 

Will I rejoice at their repentance because it restores (or brings them into) a relationship with God?  If so, then I can go ahead.

Also, I need to ask why the person should listen to me?  Have they seen my fruit?  Do I actually know them well enough?  Have I disqualified myself from speaking because of an unresolved wrong I have done to them?  All too often, we leave a comment on a FB post or a website that actually causes more harm than good.  Because our tone cannot be read, all too often, our comment is taken in the worst way imaginable.  We live in a world, in a society, that wants to see Christians in the worst light possible.  We must be careful not to malign the name of Christ.  Does this mean that we don't speak up, to stand for Christ?  NOT AT ALL!  I'm just saying to pray, check with God before you type, or speak.  Check your motivation.  Pray.  Pray before, pray during, and pray after.  And leave the results to God.

"Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin" (part 1)

If you've been a Christian for more than about 15 minutes, you've heard the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin."  It's a paraphrase of a quote from Gandhi.  We can have a discussion on the wisdom of making a Buddhist quote into a tenet of our Christian faith, but that's a discussion for another time...

Today, I want to say that we, as Christians, are actually doing the opposite.  Or at the very least, we are encouraged to, often expected to.

Sadly, we have bought the lie that in order to "love the sinner" we must accept whatever sin is part of his or her life.  I'll use an example that relates close to me.

I easily fall into the sin of worry.  I tend to overthink, to obsess, and then to worry.  A true friend would lovingly ask me if I am worrying.  Something like this, "Yes, what you are dealing with is scary.  Are you trusting God to handle it, or are you spending your time in worry?  How are you handling this?"  Then, they might remind me of God's faithfulness, of His provision, even of His right to do as He pleases with me (even up to, and including, my death).  It wouldn't be easy to hear, no, but a true friend who loves me well would ask, gently and lovingly, where my heart was, and if I had fallen into sin.

The world, and many in the church, would tell us to say, "I understand your worry!  You have every right to worry about this, and anyone who tells you otherwise is just being 'judgey' and harsh!  Just tell them they aren't perfect either."  Sadly, too many times, we do just that.  But that's just an encouragement to sin.

We all have areas of sinfulness, things that tempt us and lure us in.  We need faithful friends who help us to really look at that sin and call it what it is.  We need honest Christians who will help us see the ugliness of disobedience and the separation it causes.  (Not eternal separation for the believer, but a breach in the relationship!)

All too often, under the guise of "understanding," we are the cause of a brother or sister stumbling, or continuing in sin!  This is a serious issue.  Understanding is all well and good, as well as a humble heart that says cries out "There but for the grace of God go I!"  But do not let us use that as an excuse to encourage sin!  Instead, let's warn each other lovingly, openly confess our weaknesses to those who love us enough to call us on our sin.  And then, let's not get prideful and angry when someone warns us.

With a heavy heart, I must say that we have decided to "Love the sin, hate the sinner."  Under the guise of love and acceptance.  Allowing someone you truly love to continue with harmful behavior without warning isn't love, or acceptance.  It's hating them.  Loving someone is wanting what is best for them.  The absolute best is an unhindered relationship with their Savior and God.  Under the guise of "acceptance," we are, all too often, encouraging fellow believers to harm that relationship or unbelievers to forgo that relationship altogether.  How scary would it be to get to eternity and hear that our actions actually hindered someone from coming to salvation!

Life Isn't Fair, Praise God!

The Cowgirl and I were driving home from a quick trip to the grocery store.  She had spent her own "commission" money and bought treats for herself and her sisters.  As she was trying to figure out how she would divvy up said treats, she asked, "Mama, is this fair?" and then proceeded to explain what each girl would get.
I paused a moment, before explaining to her that "fair" would mean she kept all the treats for herself.  After all, she had earned that money doing chores.  That the word for her behavior was "generous."  I then explained that the Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver, because God Himself is a giver.
Then it hit me...
"Fair" would mean God keeps all the good for Himself.  He earned it, He created it, He gets to keep it!  It would mean Hell for me.  It would mean an immediate cessation of life, an immediate descent into an eternity separated from God.  If God were truly being "fair," life would be a bleak (and short!) trek.
"Generous" is anything other than that.  Even if it isn't what I want.  Even if it isn't as much as someone else has.  Even if it's "bad" by my perception.  God alone deserves all the praise, all the good, all the LIFE.  He alone deserves glory, and peace, and love.  Yet He generously, graciously, cheerfully gives to us, shares with us.  He allows us to live.  He allows us to love.  And most amazingly, He gives us the opportunity to have a relationship with Him, here and in eternity!
This realization seriously changed how I look at many things.  I'm not always mindful of this fact.  I still grumble and complain.  But I am remembering, more and more.  I am becoming more thankful, even as I work through serious disappointments, hurts, and heartaches.

Every time I hear someone complain about unfairness, I hear the elderly ladies of my childhood say. "Life's not fair."  And I think -- PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!

In Search of a Savior

I have recently taken some time away from Facebook.  It didn't really start out as an intentional thing.  I more stumbled into a break, deliberately avoiding FB one day at a time.  Each day, I chose to avoid FB, only checking in occasionally, with no real thought as to this being a real break.

Then I got back on for quite a stretch yesterday, and I was left feeling -- empty.  Like a vacuum.  As I thought about why, I came to a realization about current events...

Our country is searching for a savior.

We're in a highly contested election cycle.  With four actual contenders (two on each "side").  And almost everyone has "picked their pony," so to speak.  Only this time, it seems much more personal. 

Our country is in trouble on many fronts.  The answers as to why, and the "solutions" for fixing this are varied.

I believe, deep down, that we are searching for a savior.  We want someone to come in to fix all the broken things, to right all the wrongs, and to set us on a path to peace and prosperity.  In picking our candidate, many have identified with that person as a "savior."  It's no wonder then that so many get so angry when someone else disagrees with their choice.

Here's the problem -- there is only One qualified to be Savior.  Only One who can right the wrongs, fix the broken, and set us on a path to true peace and true prosperity (as opposed to the temporary, false "peace and prosperity" offered here on earth, often by practitioners of a false gospel).

Sadly, the ones I see most often getting irrationally angry over the perceived slights to their "savior" are those who claim the name of Christ.  The church should be the voice of reason in all of this.  We ought to be able to point people to the One True Savior.

But we can only do this by laying down our idol -- our own false "savior" and praying conscientiously that God's will be done in this election cycle.  Repenting of our own worship of one candidate, one party, or even one system of government.

I can say this because I can fall into this all too easily.  I found myself eight years ago worrying over the election, worrying over who might be our next president.  Now, I wasn't convinced that ANY of our choices was a savior in the wings, but rather that the WRONG choice would be the ruin of our country.  And I "worried" to God.  (I can't say I prayed.  I really just used God as a sounding board for all my worries.)  And He brought to mind this verse -- "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7 (NIV)  I feel safe to say that we can add "government" to that without stretching the meaning.

So I pray that God's will be done, and that He show us mercy as a nation.  Because we have turned our back on Him.  And I will trust that God's will WILL be done.  But know this -- God's will is often very hard, very difficult, and does not look at all like what we "want" in our fallenness.  Because God's will is bigger -- our salvation, not our comfort; our holiness, not our happiness.  God desires us to desire Him, and if things are too good in the here and now, we often don't want Him at all, don't see our need for Him.

I would urge you to ponder this -- how would "YOUR" candidate answer this question -- "How will you be our savior?!  What is your plan to save us?!"  If you are not fairly confident that (s)he would say "I am unqualified to save you, there is only ONE who is qualified for that job," then you may need to rethink your choice.

And if you find you simply cannot lay this idol down, then maybe consider sitting this election out. I would argue that it's more important that you search God and trust HIM than that you "do your civic duty" and vote.

If you're looking for a Savior, then please, PLEASE find a Bible and read the book of John.  Or find a Christian, one you see living out a life of service, and ask them to explain it to you.  But don't look to mere humans.  We will let you down every time.

The Unworthy (Terrible) Servant

I have been struggling for a while.  For a long time (years, maybe), I begged God to allow me to see myself as He sees me.

In my mind, I had visions of being assured of being His beloved child, of Him showing me how much He cares.

Instead, the passage that leapt out at me one morning was Luke 17:7-10.  Yeah.  Not what I wanted to hear.  Not a passage I can recall ever hearing a sermon on, in fact.  "Unworthy servant?!"

I cried.  Several times over the next several days.  Each time my attitude about something stunk, I would pray, "I am an unworthy servant."

See, I am a terrible servant.  I don't WANT to serve.  I want to be left alone, to be allowed to do my thing, or sometimes, for others to serve me.  I want to help those whom I choose, when I choose.  And my heart rebels at the thought of being God's servant.  And admitting my unworthiness.

I've been struggling again more recently.  Rebellion against the whole servant thing again.  It happens a lot with me.  Some people seem to naturally serve.  Not me.

The verse that keeps coming to mind? Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."  Mostly, the "do not grow weary" part keeps reverberating in my head.  But I am weary.

So what to do?  I pray.  I am learning to pray differently.  To focus on how much I have been forgiven, on what I am to do, not on the shortcomings of others.  I am learning to ask that God change ME, my heart. my attitudes, and actions.

I am just beginning to see that I need to be doing things in service to God.  In the story in Luke, I believe that God is the Master.  It's Him I am serving, not people.  Yes, the people around me may benefit from that service, but the service must be rendered to God, because He commands it, not because they need it, or I can do it, or it's convenient to my schedule.  So, I guess it's time for changes.  Changes that do not come easily to me.

Left to myself, I would not serve.  My very being rebels at the thought.  But I am a new creation in Christ, so serve I must.  Starting with those closest to me.  The ones who know me best, and the ones that I most expect to serve me. 

Good night, and God bless.

Ugly Speech (or Why I Rarely am Controversial on Facebook)

Facebook -- I love it and I hate it.  I have a FB page, and several friends.  Many of whom do not agree with me, or with each other, on various topics.  Most of these topics are benign, like whose baseball team should win the World Series, or whether Clemson University or the University of South Carolina has the best football team.  (Go Tigers!)

Some of these things, however, are controversial.  Like abortion, corporal punishment, the Second Amendment, school choice, capital punishment, and politics.  I have opinions on all those topics.  Very strong opinions.  But I very rarely, if ever, voice them on Facebook.

Why?

Several reasons, really, the main one being I don't like where "discourse" in this country is going.  Or not going, as the case may be.  One person jumps on FB and posts a comment with a strong pro- or anti- opinion on one of the above topics.  Someone else jumps in with an opposing view.  Sometimes, they are civil.  Most of the time, they are not.  Then the original poster gets angry, and the original two, plus various supporters on each side, jump in and call names, cast aspersions, get ugly and personal.  It's just not worth it.

I am called to be salt and light in this world.  Christ said that the world will know us by our LOVE.  Not by our clinging to our "rights" or clinging to our opinions.  I cannot win someone to Christ if I will not love them.  And calling ugly names is not loving someone, no matter how important the issue is.  It will not matter in eternity where someone stood on the sanctity of life if they have rejected Christ.  And woe to me if they reject Christ because of me, because they know I claim His name.  Christ was humble.  Yes, He stood up to corruption within His people.  He called THEM names, said "harsh" things to them.  But why?  Because He was zealous that people be able to get to Him, and to His Father, and these people were standing in the way.

Sound much like today's discourse with so-called Christians?  Are we standing in the way of people coming to Christ by the way we talk, to them and each other, when we disagree?  Would those names that Christ called the Pharisees and other leaders of HIS people back then fit us today?  Would they fit me?  All too often, the answer is "yes."

I'll admit -- this is an area of weakness for me.  I like being "right."  I like having just the thing to say to fire back at someone who is "wrong."  I know if I post something, or comment on something, that a firestorm might ensue.  That things will be said to me, and I will say things back.  And I will have hard feelings toward the person who was harsh or just plain mean.  So, I keep my thoughts to myself.  I prevent myself from sinning in the future by not speaking now.  Generally, the point I would have made is already being articulated by someone else anyway.  It's a way of loving others for me.  Others can handle the back-and-forth with grace; without firing back, or holding a grudge.  I struggle with those two things, so I keep quiet.

Another reason is this -- I will not change someone's mind with a FB post.  I will not make someone see things "my" way.  And they will not change mine.  The best I can hope for is an "agree to disagree."  Which, in my opinion, is best done one-on-one and face to face.  You see, tone is lacking on a FB status or comment.  I may write something that is sarcastic in my head, but it may be read seriously.  (Or vice-versa.)  Plus, once something is "out there," it is out there for all time.  Ten years from now, that topic may be moot, but the harm I may have caused will still stand.

Finally, I do not know everything about everything.  Often, the topic involves the "controversy du jour."  And I rarely have all the facts.  I do not know the situation, the ins and outs of various things.  Sometimes, what seems to be the case isn't, and the unlikely is exactly what happened.  It is best to hold my tongue (or, as it has been said, "better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.")

So, generally, I keep quiet on controversy on FB, saving my opinions for those who know me and my heart.  Afterall, my primary objective is to be salt and light, and the best way to do that is to LOVE others.

Weighing in on Ferguson

Here in the US, it seems like events in Ferguson, MO are on everyone's minds.  Many loud voices have added their opinions to the mix, many people have shouted each other down, called each other names, and generally said mean and hateful things about all parties involved.  Mostly, it seems to be along the lines of, "If you don't agree with ME, then you are WRONG, and EVIL."  Sadly, this seems to be what passes for "discourse" in our country any more.  (But that's a whole 'nother post for another time.)

But what seems to me to be missing, at least from what I can see, is a looking at the humanity of the situation.  In all the name-calling, and anger, and screaming from both sides, no one is looking at the genuine heartbreak.

A man has died.  And that's exactly what he was -- a man.  A young man, yes, but a man nonetheless.  He was not a child, not an "innocent" as so many want to portray him.  He was old enough to vote, to defend his country, to enter into a legally binding contract.  Barely, but he was.

Now, he stands before his Maker.  That's all that's left.  The Bible says, "...it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment," (Heb. 9:27, NASB)  The bigger, eternal question is this -- was he ready?  Aside from the hype, aside from the angry voices, was this young man ready to meet his Maker?  If not, he is in a sad state indeed.

You see, the manner of death has NOTHING to do with his eternal destination.  The violence, or calmness, of one's passing does not determine where one spends eternity.  I cannot make the determination on his soul's eternal home.  Thankfully, that rests with the Righteous Judge.  But I do know this -- his decision is now final.  He cannot change it.  What he decided in this life is now his decision to live with for eternity, for better or for worse.

So, my takeaway is this -- be ready.  We never know when this is the end.  It could come when you are young, youngish, oldish, or old.  I could walk out the door today, be hit by a car, and die.  I know where I am going.  Do you?  Do your family, and friends?  Please, please, don't wait until the decision is unchangeable.  Grab hold of Christ, follow Him, lean on Him, obey Him.  Make Him Lord -- truly Lord -- of your life.  Then, no matter the manner and timing of your death, you will be ready.  You can live and die without fear of judgment.  "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom. 8:1, NASB)

With a Heavy Heart

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." Psalm 116:15 (ESV)

Sometimes the reality of death is heavier than others.  It bears down, darkens the edges of our vision, and makes our hearts heavy.

Today is such a day.  You see, two people have died today.  One young, unexpectedly, the result of a tragic automobile accident.  The other, older, the matriarch of four generations of family, ill for many years and rapidly declining.  Neither one knew the other, but I knew them both.  One was family, the other a friend.  Both loved their Lord, and leave behind many grieving.

But their deaths are precious to God.  No longer separate from Him, they are both, today, with Him forever, singing, laughing and dancing with Jesus.  They are actually MORE alive today than they were yesterday, or even the day they were born.

This life is but a mere shadow of existence.  A shadow that seems real to us, because we are also shadows.  One day, we will also live this reality, be a part of this reality.

But for now, death looms, and those left behind grieve.