Matthew 11:28-30 and Mom-Guilt

            "The girls learn as much from how you handle it when you 'fail' as when you are consistent."  The thought drifted in a whisper across my heart as I stood in the kitchen, weighed down with a load of mom-guilt.  This time, over chores, house-keeping, and commission.  And a burden lifted, and grace fluttered in, softly picking up that heavy load and taking it somewhere else.

            See, life is messy.  We get sick.  We have ministry opportunities that lead us to bring our mess into the middle of someone else's mess.  We are someone else's ministry opportunity sometimes, their chance to bring their mess into the middle of ours.  I get tired.  I burn out.  The studio schedule changes because of life going on in the lives of my children's music teachers.  The water line gets broken during a home improvement project.  Contractors don't do the job they are hired for, or to the specifications outlined in the beginning.  I over-plan, or under-prepare, or hit a week of apathy.  The kids squabble.  Or don't understand something that to me seems perfectly clear.

            And in the middle of all that, I am bound and determined to be the "perfect" mother, "perfect" homeschooler, "perfect" homemaker, "perfect" wife, and "perfect" Christian.  And I fail.  Daily.  Hourly.  Moment by moment.

            But, what if, instead of beating myself up over this, I looked to my Savior, fell at His feet, prayed for mercy and grace and forgiveness, and then accepted that He gave them freely to me?  What if I allowed Him to love me enough to cover those things?  He's already paid the price.

            And then, what if I took a closer look at those things at which I am "failing"?  Have I turned consistency, routine, and schedule into idols?  (Yes, I have, big time.)  Have I forgotten that those things are merely meant to be tools to help us fulfill our calling?  (Yes, again!)  Have I pursued them as an end, instead of using them to practice and teach self-discipline and stewardship?  (Yes, to my shame.)  Have I been slow to offer help to those around me because of my misplaced priorities? (Yes, much as I hate to admit it.)

            But you know what?  Instead of this laying a huge load of mom-guilt on me, it freed me!  This is the beauty of Matthew 11:28-30: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  I had picked up a burden I was never meant to carry -- one of perfectionism and idolatry -- instead of taking up His yoke of living life, loving and serving those around me, one of living in light of "it is finished" instead of demanding -- and exhausting -- rules and regulations.  Praise God that He loves us enough to carry the burden that is too heavy for us, to give us a yoke that is light, and to give us whispers in our heart that point us back to His intent and purposes for our lives!