Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Wednesday is the New Monday

I'm sure I've posted on this before, but it's my blog (and no one reads it, anyway), so I'm going to write about this again...

Around our house, Mondays and Tuesdays are usually pretty good.  Wednesday is the day that would qualify as "typical Monday."  And I dread Wednesday starting on Thursday Wednesday bedtime.

This has to change.  I don't know how, though.  I don't have a good answer in this case.  I know I have to change it, but I'm at a loss.

Today's been pretty typical for a Wednesday around here.  It started off with the Doctor and Fidget arguing over chair placement.  And it's pretty much been downhill since.

I'll have to think on this, come up with a plan before next Wednesday, because I've let it go on too long.  And it's pretty awful servanthood on my part.

So, there's my update for today.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

When I am Forgotten... But Not Really

Today I heard good news from a friend about mutual acquaintance.  And I was happy for her.  And sad for myself.  And more than a little envious.

Oh, I don't want to take her blessing away.  I just want a similar blessing for myself.  Desperately.  I have prayed for YEARS for a miracle that would allow this blessing in my family's life.  I have cried, pleaded, begged for this same blessing from God for such a long time.

And still I wait.  So often, I feel forgotten.  So often, I feel as though there is no plan, no miracle for me.  I struggle.  I cry.  I sob and beg.  And still, nothing.  Silence.  No miracle, no promise, no hope of a miracle.

Sometimes, it's easy.  Sometimes, I can let life just go on as it is.  Sometimes, I get derailed by the wonderful blessings of others.  And it seems unfair.

Because God does not promise us health, or wealth, or happiness, or even our wants.  He promises that all will work together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.  But that good may very well await in eternity, not now or here.

Sometimes, all I can cling to, all I can cry is an echo of the apostles, "To whom shall I go?  You have the words of eternal life."  Where else can I go?  I'll admit, if there truly was an easier way, I'm sure I'd at the very least be tempted to take it.  Some days, I so badly want to throw in the towel.

But I'm reminded that this isn't about me.  It's not about what's in it for me.

"Q: What is the chief end of man?
A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."  (Westminster Shorter Catechism.)

That's what it's about.  Glorifying Him.  Sometimes -- OK, often -- I cannot see how He will be glorified in the circumstances, how His glory will shine through my situation.  I cannot see the good that He's working.  But then I look again -- it's my job to glorify Him through all of this.

Even when I feel forgotten.

Even when it seems unfair.

Even when what I long for, what I cry out about is a good thing, a blessing only He can provide.

Even when it seems that there is no plan.

Even when I cannot see the next step.

Even when I cry, beg, plead, and Heaven is silent.

I must -- I must -- glorify Him.  After all, He has the words of eternal life.  He's the only one who does.

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21b).