tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61543207343624501272024-03-13T12:55:43.789-06:00Pursuing Love in Everyday LifeTrying to Love as I am CalledDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-43216616968719971972017-07-18T11:23:00.001-06:002017-07-18T11:23:01.042-06:00Steady Progress<p dir="ltr">As I sit typing this, the Doctor is practicing her violin, as she has done every weekday for the past eight and one half years. As she is practicing, I am reflecting on the changes brought about in her musical abilities and understanding. She has come so far, both as a human being (she has been playing for almost three quarters of her life at this point!) and as a musician.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She does not practice willingly, but as her father and I believe that it is good for her, for all three of them, to study music, she practices. I have explained the benefits to her, but she is still a child who frequently wants her way... such is childhood. Being an obedient sort, though, she does practice. And she is actually quite good. I say this, not as a proud mother, but as a fellow musician and teacher of musicians. She will never be a concert violinist, and she has no desire to be. But she has an excellent ear and a quick mathematical mind, which gives her quite an advantage.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I digress.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I can hear the differences in her playing, but I am not as sure she can. I know she realizes how much more she knows in terms of pieces and techniques, scales, arpeggios, and the like, but I don't know if she knows how much she's truly grown as a musician.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And I wonder... is this how God sees us? Does He look at us, look at how long we've been "practicing" Christianity (in the form of walking with Him in relationship), and see how much we've grown? Does He take Godly pride in how far we've come? Does He, while seeing our mistakes, still smile at how those mistakes have changed over the years? What would He tell us about our walk with Him if we could audibly hear Him? If we could sit down with Him for a few hours a week like Adam and Eve could do while they were still in Eden? What woud He say? I know there would be correction, but I'm pretty sure there would be encouragement as well (given that we are commanded to encourage others in the Bible is several places). </p>
<p dir="ltr">We realize how much we've learned, I think, in terms of Bible study, preaching, about His character. But do we realize how far we've come as Christians? Or do we see only the mistakes? Do we only "hear" the wrong notes? The out of tune ones? How much of our time do we spend on reliving the missteps, the sinful behaviors, words, and thoughts, verses how much time do we spend thanking God for how far He's brought us? Because, ultimately, we cannot do this on our own. Our holiness comes only from God alone. Anything of Him that is evident in us is only because He is working. How much do we acknowledge His work, praise Him for His work, and ask Him to continue? In my life, I'll admit, not much. I see so much of how I fail, how I am wrong and sinful. And when I do realize that I'm not the same as I was before, my pride rears up and wants to take credit. But I can't. And I would be much farther along if I would trust God more consistently, more fully, and more daily.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I just wonder as a parent sometimes, "Is this how God feels?" Today was one of those days.</p>
Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-9528958995582404222017-05-26T10:41:00.000-06:002017-05-26T10:41:05.770-06:00Heart ProblemsTwo women show up for church, dressed essentially identically: mid-calf length dresses with a "modest" neckline, hose, and low-heeled pumps. Hair is neatly done, make-up well-applied but not obvious. If you were to see these women on a daily basis, you'd probably see variations on the theme, pants some days, sneakers maybe, but nothing that anyone would find particularly immodest.<br />
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But their hearts are in two different places -- one, with a heart to worshipping God, and not setting a stumbling block for her brothers and sisters in Christ; the other with a heart to show off just how "modest" she is. The first has a thriving relationship with Christ, and her wardrobe, lifestyle choices, and daily life reflects that. The second has a list of rules that she tries very hard to live by, maybe she's a Christian, maybe she just tries to look like one.<br />
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Here's the thing -- <strong><em>everything</em></strong> we do is to be done with our heart. Modesty isn't about how we dress. Modesty is about not drawing undue attention to ourselves. Does this impact our clothing choices? It should. Does it impact whether or not we audition for the solo at church? It should.<br />
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If our heart is not in truly glorifying God, then anything we do is truly just self-glory. It is idol worship, and the idol is ME.<br />
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At the heart of it all is the heart. Where is my heart? To Whom (or whom) does it belong?Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-16684543922372864952017-05-24T10:27:00.000-06:002017-05-24T10:27:13.396-06:00Even Homeschooled Kids are SinnersWe homeschool. I love it. I firmly believe in it as a good, viable, legal, moral, and Godly option for education. I will not argue that it's the ONLY good, viable, legal, moral, and Godly option, though. So you're in the wrong place if you want that.<br />
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Here's something you don't often see homeschoolers publically admitting, though. Homeschooled kids are still sinners. Keeping them away from the public school setting, with all its temptations and ungodly influences and worldly curriculum doesn't change that children still love the world and the things of the world. It doesn't change their rebellious hearts. Only God can do that, through His Holy Spirit. Let that sink in - <b><i><u>Only God can do that, through His Holy Spirit.</u></i></b> My kids, until the point of repentance and regeneration are unregenerate sinners bound for an eternity in hell. Homeschooling won't save them.<br />
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What I fear homeschooling may do, if I am not very careful, is create highly moral sinners. Ones with a false sense of eternal security. That's a fearful thing to have. It's what all those cults promise.<br />
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Homeschooling can be a bed of self-righteous Pharisee-ism if I am not careful. It can, in fact, hinder them from coming to a true saving relationship with Christ. Honestly, it would be better for me to put them in the public schools than to get in the way of their true eternal salvation.<br />
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As with anything, much prayer is needed to avoid the pitfalls of legalism.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-61482124410542886142017-05-22T10:21:00.000-06:002017-05-22T10:21:13.392-06:00A Question to PonderWith last Sunday being Mother's Day, and Saturday being Birth Mother's Day, I began to ponder a few things. One of which is this:<br />
One of the big justifications I hear for having an abortion is "I could never just GIVE UP my baby to someone else!" in a horrified manner. My question is this - how is having your baby murdered any better than giving them up for someone else to love? What makes this option more palatable to so many young women? How have we as a society made it that way? What are we failing to teach or believe that leads young women to this conclusion?<br />
OK, that's more than one question, but it's all related. I have no answers for any of those questions, but I think it's well worth pondering. And maybe making some changes.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-34996309763254929902017-05-18T11:06:00.000-06:002017-05-18T11:06:05.208-06:00These are a Few of my Favorite ThingsI love homeschooling. I cannot imagine education any other way, really. Even though my siblings and I went to public school, in many ways we were homeschooled. My parents, especially my mother, had a heart for teaching her children.<br />
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Here's a list of a few of my favorite things about homeschooling:<br />
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1. The relationships. My kids' primary relationships are in our family. Their sibling relationships are strong. As are our relationships as parents with them. There aren't other adults intentionally getting in the way, trying to make us look foolish and destroy that relationship.<br />
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2. Watching them learn. I love it when one of the girls comes up against a really tough concept in math, or science, or music and works hard and then finally the lightbulb comes on. They get so excited, and get excited for each other. I love it.<br />
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3. Unbound curiosity. Unbound, in that it is not squashed by a curriculum that "must" be gotten through. If my oldest wants to camp out on abnormal physiology for six months, while my youngest studies the gross anatomy of a cat, they can. No one is telling them that they "must move on, because curriculum."<br />
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4. Limitless curiosity. This is different. Their curiosity has no end. I truly believe that this is how childhood in general should be spent - asking questions, and seeking answers. By experimentation, by research, by finding a person who can explain. Finding the answers to those questions, then asking new questions brought about because of those answers. This is education. This is learning.<br />
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5. Deeper talks. The girls and I talk about a great many things. We discuss socialism and why it has always failed, the gift of pain, government, self-government, right and wrong, and many other topics. Sometimes deeply, sometimes on a surface level. But their questions are big and deep. And they THINK. Kids like to think, when we don't tell them what all the "right" answers are.<br />
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6. Time together. Honestly, you cannot get quality time without quantity time. You cannot trust someone you do not know. You cannot know someone without spending time together. Limited "quality time" is a myth. It just does not exist.<br />
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7. I know what is going into them. I know what they are learning. I know because I chose the curriculum. I know because I am their primary teacher. I can tailor what they are learning to their individual maturity level and our family's worldview because that's what is best for them.<br />
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8. Routine. They are part of my routine. School breaks are nothing to dread for me, because the girls are already a vital part of my everyday routines. They are not a nuisance, but a help.<br />
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9. Slower pace. We intentionally keep a slower pace. I believe that unstructured time is best for children. It allows them to play, to run, to explore. If all their time is spent running from one place to another, going from sitting in a desk to sitting in a car to sitting at the table to do homework, they are hindered in their development. And we do not yet know how that hindrance will impact them in adulthood.<br />
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10. Flexibility. We can schedule trips around life. School doesn't become an albatross preventing us from doing things with others that we'd really love to do.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-5299054030307345052017-05-16T08:17:00.000-06:002017-05-16T08:17:14.922-06:00Summer WritingI love words. I love reading, writing, speaking, and listening. I love the connection with people. I love ideas, big sweeping ideas. And I love to write and talk about ideas.<br />
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With that in mind, I have challenged myself to write every week day this summer. Sometimes, that will be on here. Sometimes, that will be for my own journal, or a story I'm writing. (I keep telling myself I'm going to finish a novel if it kills me. So far, it hasn't happened.) Sometimes, it will be a note for someone else. But my challenge is to write every week day. We'll see how it goes.<br />
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That's why I'm writing this now -- to fulfill my self-imposed challenge. This will be today's writing, but normally I'll go for something more creative or expressive. But for now, this challenge is out there, and now it's "real".Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-81070870668742481442016-08-04T10:00:00.000-06:002016-08-04T10:00:20.131-06:00"Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin" (part 2)In part 1, I discussed the fact that we are not loving people well when we accept the sin... (The TRUTH part of speaking the truth in love.)<br />
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Now I want to discuss the LOVING part of speaking the truth in love. Otherwise, we're just Westboro "Baptist Church". (I put those last two in quotes on purpose. They are not a real church.)<br />
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We must be careful when we confront someone, or let someone know that something is a sin.<br />
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I find this a pretty simple procedure for me (even though I don't always follow it!) The question is -- "How do I react when someone disagrees with me on this?" If I am loving them, a decision to continue in sin will break my heart and drive me to prayer. If I am simply being driven out of a desire to "be right," I will get angry. All too often, I am speaking out of a desire to be right.<br />
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Am I gloating over how "wrong" the person is, how "holy" I am? Am I behaving like the Pharisee in Luke 18:10-14? If so, I need to work this out FIRST, through prayer and repentance. <br />
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Will I rejoice at their repentance because it restores (or brings them into) a relationship with God? If so, then I can go ahead.<br />
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Also, I need to ask why the person should listen to me? Have they seen my fruit? Do I actually know them well enough? Have I disqualified myself from speaking because of an unresolved wrong I have done to them? All too often, we leave a comment on a FB post or a website that actually causes more harm than good. Because our tone cannot be read, all too often, our comment is taken in the worst way imaginable. We live in a world, in a society, that wants to see Christians in the worst light possible. We must be careful not to malign the name of Christ. Does this mean that we don't speak up, to stand for Christ? NOT AT ALL! I'm just saying to pray, check with God before you type, or speak. Check your motivation. Pray. Pray before, pray during, and pray after. And leave the results to God.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-18937405042877452562016-08-01T18:07:00.000-06:002016-08-01T18:07:02.962-06:00"Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin" (part 1)If you've been a Christian for more than about 15 minutes, you've heard the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin." It's a paraphrase of a quote from Gandhi. We can have a discussion on the wisdom of making a Buddhist quote into a tenet of our Christian faith, but that's a discussion for another time...<br />
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Today, I want to say that we, as Christians, are actually doing the opposite. Or at the very least, we are encouraged to, often expected to.<br />
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Sadly, we have bought the lie that in order to "love the sinner" we must accept whatever sin is part of his or her life. I'll use an example that relates close to me.<br />
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I easily fall into the sin of worry. I tend to overthink, to obsess, and then to worry. A true friend would lovingly ask me if I am worrying. Something like this, "Yes, what you are dealing with is scary. Are you trusting God to handle it, or are you spending your time in worry? How are you handling this?" Then, they might remind me of God's faithfulness, of His provision, even of His right to do as He pleases with me (even up to, and including, my death). It wouldn't be easy to hear, no, but a true friend who loves me well would ask, gently and lovingly, where my heart was, and if I had fallen into sin.<br />
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The world, and many in the church, would tell us to say, "I understand your worry! You have every right to worry about this, and anyone who tells you otherwise is just being 'judgey' and harsh! Just tell them they aren't perfect either." Sadly, too many times, we do just that. But that's just an encouragement to sin.<br />
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We all have areas of sinfulness, things that tempt us and lure us in. We need faithful friends who help us to really look at that sin and call it what it is. We need honest Christians who will help us see the ugliness of disobedience and the separation it causes. (Not eternal separation for the believer, but a breach in the relationship!)<br />
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All too often, under the guise of "understanding," we are the cause of a brother or sister stumbling, or continuing in sin! This is a serious issue. Understanding is all well and good, as well as a humble heart that says cries out "There but for the grace of God go I!" But do not let us use that as an excuse to encourage sin! Instead, let's warn each other lovingly, openly confess our weaknesses to those who love us enough to call us on our sin. And then, let's not get prideful and angry when someone warns us.<br />
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With a heavy heart, I must say that we have decided to "Love the sin, hate the sinner." Under the guise of love and acceptance. Allowing someone you truly love to continue with harmful behavior without warning isn't love, or acceptance. It's hating them. Loving someone is wanting what is best for them. The absolute best is an unhindered relationship with their Savior and God. Under the guise of "acceptance," we are, all too often, encouraging fellow believers to harm that relationship or unbelievers to forgo that relationship altogether. How scary would it be to get to eternity and hear that our actions actually hindered someone from coming to salvation!Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-57068751000231315522016-07-12T13:33:00.002-06:002016-07-12T13:33:59.247-06:00The Homeschooling IntrovertWhen the girls were all small, I would read things, or hear other moms talk, about their longing for adult conversation. All I longed for was NO conversation. I didn't need to spend time talking to others. I needed -- I craved -- quiet. All that noise, all those needs, all those things that come with having small children at home. It wore me out.<br />
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And then we decided to homeschool. I'll admit -- I was the one who brought it up. I felt like it was probably the best thing for our family. But it still didn't change my need for quiet. It didn't still all the noise, the needs, the constant talking.<br />
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As we have continued on this journey, the girls have gotten older, more self-sufficient in their daily needs. And the pressure is less.<br />
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I am still an introvert. I still choose to homeschool. Now I am finding the joy in that journey.<br />
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Homeschooling as an introverted mom is not always easy. It is a lot of work, as is any worthwhile task. But it is getting easier. The conversations are less "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I need ______________ (some physical need)" and more "Mama, I've been struggling with ________________ (some spiritual matter)." There's less jump and run to prevent catastrophe, and more discussions of why something is/was a bad idea, and what consequences would follow.<br />
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I wish someone had told me that introverted parenting and homeschooling wouldn't always be the draining experience of the early days. I wish someone would have told me that someday, I would genuinely enjoy my children. That the things that truly drained me most would be outgrown.<br />
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Now, all three are at camp this week. Sleeping away from home. Fidget for the first time. I am enjoying the quiet, the alone-ness that comes with having no one else at home during the day. But it's not the desperate "where is all my alone time going?!" feeling that it would have been before. I look forward to having them home, to picking them up and hearing all about their new friends, and the time in the pool, and the good food they ate, and all the silly songs they will be singing for months after this week ends.<br />
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In part, I am learning that it is OK to be an introvert, that it does not make me a bad parent. That need for quiet is just a part of who I am created to be. What would make me a bad parent is letting it rule everything, demanding always to get what makes me comfortable. Learning to balance what I truly need with what the children truly need is a constant job. One I hope to get right one day.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-92024003314623473552016-04-07T22:25:00.000-06:002016-04-07T22:25:12.798-06:00Life Isn't Fair, Praise God!The Cowgirl and I were driving home from a quick trip to the grocery store. She had spent her own "commission" money and bought treats for herself and her sisters. As she was trying to figure out how she would divvy up said treats, she asked, "Mama, is this fair?" and then proceeded to explain what each girl would get.<br />
I paused a moment, before explaining to her that "fair" would mean she kept all the treats for herself. After all, she had earned that money doing chores. That the word for her behavior was "generous." I then explained that the Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver, because God Himself is a giver.<br />
Then it hit me...<br />
"Fair" would mean God keeps all the good for Himself. He earned it, He created it, He gets to keep it! It would mean Hell for me. It would mean an immediate cessation of life, an immediate descent into an eternity separated from God. If God were truly being "fair," life would be a bleak (and short!) trek.<br />
"Generous" is anything other than that. Even if it isn't what I want. Even if it isn't as much as someone else has. Even if it's "bad" by my perception. God alone deserves all the praise, all the good, all the LIFE. He alone deserves glory, and peace, and love. Yet He generously, graciously, cheerfully gives to us, shares with us. He allows us to live. He allows us to love. And most amazingly, He gives us the opportunity to have a relationship with Him, here and in eternity!<br />
This realization seriously changed how I look at many things. I'm not always mindful of this fact. I still grumble and complain. But I am remembering, more and more. I am becoming more thankful, even as I work through serious disappointments, hurts, and heartaches.<br />
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Every time I hear someone complain about unfairness, I hear the elderly ladies of my childhood say. "Life's not fair." And I think -- PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-68040839167983095492016-03-12T12:49:00.002-07:002016-03-12T12:49:58.810-07:00In Search of a Savior<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I have recently taken some time away from Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn't really start out as an intentional
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I more stumbled into a break,
deliberately avoiding FB one day at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Each day, I chose to avoid FB, only checking in occasionally, with no
real thought as to this being a real break.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Then I got back on for quite a stretch yesterday, and I
was left feeling -- empty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like a
vacuum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I thought about why, I came
to a realization about current events...</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Our country is searching for a savior.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
We're in a highly contested election cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With four actual contenders (two on each "side").<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And almost everyone has "picked their
pony," so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only this time,
it seems much more personal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Our country is in trouble on many fronts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answers as to why, and the
"solutions" for fixing this are varied.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I believe, deep down, that we are searching for a
savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want someone to come in to
fix all the broken things, to right all the wrongs, and to set us on a path to
peace and prosperity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In picking our
candidate, many have identified with that person as a "savior."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's no wonder then that so many get so angry
when someone else disagrees with their choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Here's the problem -- there is only One qualified to be
Savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only One who can right the
wrongs, fix the broken, and set us on a path to true peace and true prosperity
(as opposed to the temporary, false "peace and prosperity" offered here
on earth, often by practitioners of a false gospel).</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Sadly, the ones I see most often getting irrationally
angry over the perceived slights to their "savior" are those who
claim the name of Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The church
should be the voice of reason in all of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We ought to be able to point people to the One True Savior.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
But we can only do this by laying down our idol -- our
own false "savior" and praying conscientiously that God's will be
done in this election cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repenting
of our own worship of one candidate, one party, or even one system of
government.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I can say this because I can fall into this all too
easily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found myself eight years ago
worrying over the election, worrying over who might be our next president.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I wasn't convinced that ANY of our
choices was a savior in the wings, but rather that the WRONG choice would be
the ruin of our country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I "worried"
to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I can't say I prayed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really just used God as a sounding board
for all my worries.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He brought to
mind this verse -- "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we
trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7 (NIV)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel safe to say that we can add
"government" to that without stretching the meaning.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
So I pray that God's will be done, and that He show us
mercy as a nation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we have
turned our back on Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I will trust
that God's will WILL be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But know
this -- God's will is often very hard, very difficult, and does not look at all
like what we "want" in our fallenness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because God's will is bigger -- our
salvation, not our comfort; our holiness, not our happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God desires us to desire Him, and if things
are too good in the here and now, we often don't want Him at all, don't see our
need for Him.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
I would urge you to ponder this -- how would "YOUR"
candidate answer this question -- "How will you be our savior?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is your plan to save us?!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are not fairly confident that (s)he
would say "I am unqualified to save you, there is only ONE who is
qualified for that job," then you may need to rethink your choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
And if you find you simply can<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not</b> lay this idol down, then maybe consider sitting this election
out. I would argue that it's more important that you search God and trust HIM
than that you "do your civic duty" and vote.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
If you're looking for a Savior, then please, PLEASE find
a Bible and read the book of John.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or
find a Christian, one you see living out a life of service, and ask them to
explain it to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But don't look to
mere humans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will let you down every
time.</div>
Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-45748826978423514282015-07-09T18:24:00.000-06:002016-03-12T13:26:34.355-07:00Why Autism Friendship is a Thing of Beauty<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There is beauty in friendships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friendships of all kinds, but there is a
unique beauty in friendships with people on the Autism Spectrum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Doctor's best friend has Autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(For this post, I'll call him "the
Friend," for his and his family's privacy.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, there are a few things you should
know about my family and me before I go any further:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>None of my children are on the spectrum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are all </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>neuro-typical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not a point of pride, just a
statement of </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>fact.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am not advocating for people with Autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am woefully </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>unqualified to do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I find it awkward when people try </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>to advocate for "other"
groups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At best it comes across as </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>patronizing, at worst, it comes across
as offensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(You know, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>the "Be kind to the poor <u>[fill
in this blank with a random group]</u> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You might be the only friend they have!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Makes me </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>want to hurt someone.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am also not advocating for parents of children with Autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They are the best advocates I know, and
no one has asked me </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>to advocate for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It, quite honestly, is not my place.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I AM advocating for my own children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After all, they're the </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>children I love best in the world, and
the ones that I advocate </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>for most naturally!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>With all that in mind, I want to give
you the reasons that I am so thankful that the Doctor has a dear friend with
Autism:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">1.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Acceptance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What could be better than someone who accepts you for who you are,
without manipulating you into feeling like you need to change to be loved?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that's what the Doctor has found in the
Friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has NOT ONCE ever made her
feel like she's "less worthy" of his friendship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has never manipulated her into doing
something she doesn't want to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">2.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Another mom loves my child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Along with #1, the Friend's mom LOVES my
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Well, all three of my
children.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is in "the Doctor's
corner" so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take a moment
to let it sink in how HUGE that is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
hard to find that within families, let alone friends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">3.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Total family acceptance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Friend not only cares for the
Doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has accepted all three girls
totally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fidget is often the recipient
of his care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll give you a quick story
to summarize what this looks like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Friend's mom and I took all our kids to a movie one time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fidget got upset about half-way through, and
the Friend loaned her his brand-new stuffed animal to comfort her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn't make a big deal out of it, he just
saw her crying and did what he could to make it better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">4.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Understanding and empathy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is another "story" one,
because the Friend's actions explain it best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One Sunday after church, the Doctor was upset because her paper tore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, he hunted down a new piece of paper for
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No fuss, no big deal made, just saw
a hurting friend and did what he could to fix it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">5.
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He lends her his
"brave."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Doctor had always
been cautious, often to the point of fearful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(She is the oldest after all!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
wants to know it's all "safe."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the Friend isn't concerned as much about "safety."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism often
go hand-in-hand, and the Friend is no exception.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is very physical, and while he has NOT ONE
TIME ever made the Doctor feel like a scaredy cat for not following, he has
encouraged her to test her limits. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a
result, she is far more confident in her own skin, and in the world around
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has helped her overcome her fear
simply by taking her along if she's willing, but being perfectly content to do
things alone if she isn't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many
friendships can make that claim?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Encouragement without manipulation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's a beautiful thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
one is completely selfish -- drama-free friendship for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Friend's mom and I have become
close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't have to feel bad when
last-minute plans fall through, because she has learned an amazing amount of
flexibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We rarely make "hard
and fast" plans, because we have ten kids between us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if I need something, she's the first on
my call list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She can keep a confidence
like no one else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she loves my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If something comes up, she's not going to be
"sharing" with 354 of her best friends on FB.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I have to cancel, I can be honest, and
disappointed, without worry that she'll think I don't care about my kids, or
her, or whatever else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She understands. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a gift!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">7.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The beauty of "messy life" lived
honestly together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life in this fallen
world is messy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All too often, our "friendships"
are based only on the best, most polished bits of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This breaks down quickly with a "special
needs" family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The beauty of this
for me is this -- I don't feel like I need to keep up the
"spit-shined" image, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I am tired, or weepy, or struggling, I have a true friend who will
listen, and pray for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And still keep
caring.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "batang" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>OK, I think this is long enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think it's time that NT parents
advocate for our OWN children by fostering friendships with children on the
spectrum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because our children
"can learn a lot" from the "patience" needed, nor because
"those children NEED our children to befriend them."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Seriously, I've seen that attitude several
times, and it makes me SICK!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather
because, these friendships are an absolute gift, a treasure, rare and beautiful
for the NT kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And their mamas.</span></div>
Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-54079261625755866542015-04-25T22:28:00.000-06:002015-04-25T22:28:11.104-06:00Doing it all
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>"How do you do it all?!"<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hear this question most of the time
when I tell someone I homeschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rarely
do I hear the "socialization" question, and NEVER when my girls are
with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you know my girls, you know
socializing isn't an issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it only
takes about ten seconds to realize this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So I get that question up top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Normally, I smile, and say, "I don't
know how moms get their kids out the door on time for school."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words, I deflect.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The truth is, I don't do it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't even try to do it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And quite honestly, I think it's time to stop
asking each other that question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The implication is that, somehow, I am
SUPPOSED to do it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I'm not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am one woman with three children who are where I am all day, every
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most days, that's home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they go with me to the store, the
library, even some doctor visits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
have blood drawn, even (and recently).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The truth is, my house is most often a
mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The "guest room" is
unrecognizable at the moment, mostly because it has become storage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sewing room is a disaster, with boxes all
over the floor, and projects covering the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would give my left arm for someone to come
in once a week, or even once every-other-week to clean for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not a great housekeeper even when school
is on break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don't grow my own wheat, or my own
cattle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am hopeless with plants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My oldest now has a greenhouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm hoping as long as I stay clear, the
plants will have a chance to survive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If I make my own bread, it is most
likely done, at least partially, in a bread machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With store-bought, bleached flour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Snacks are fruit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whole. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not arranged into pretty faces, or skeletons
with cut up bell peppers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no dipping
sauces, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My clothes, and those of my husband
and children, come from the store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(With
few exceptions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ADORE sewing, just
don't have time for it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I also don't work outside the
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting my children out the door
is a challenge, what with all the lost shoes and whatnot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lunch is usually one of two options --
peanut butter sandwiches or vegetable soup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Occasionally there's nachos, but not often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I do cook most evenings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there's always Costco pizza and Taco Bell
on the Engineer's way home from work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I take advantage of that more often than I "should."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don't lapbook (I know, you've just
revoked my homeschool mother card).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don't scrapbook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pictures are almost
exclusively on the computer still.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I do, however, have three children
with lively imaginations, who know how to talk to adults, how to be gentle with
smaller children, and how to approach an unfamiliar dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The girls are inquisitive, boundlessly
curious about everything in their world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They know themselves and their strengths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are proud of their quirks, of who God
has created them to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have a husband who is, without a
doubt, doing the job he was created for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And he's good at it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I know I am doing the right thing for
my family and myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am not doing
it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won't even try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I won't ask you "How do you do it
all?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because chances are, you
aren't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you should probably stop trying to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let's give each other some grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grace to not look exactly like one another,
grace to not be able to do it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grace
to not have it all together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grace to
let our own personalities shine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Albertus MT","serif"; font-size: 16pt; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Please, let's stop asking, "How
do you do it all?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just isn't
possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the collective guilt is
killing us.</span></div>
Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-44094858586727877692015-03-11T14:00:00.000-06:002015-03-11T14:00:03.886-06:00Wednesday is the New MondayI'm sure I've posted on this before, but it's my blog (and no one reads it, anyway), so I'm going to write about this again...<br />
<br />
Around our house, Mondays and Tuesdays are usually pretty good. Wednesday is the day that would qualify as "typical Monday." And I dread Wednesday starting on <strike>Thursday </strike>Wednesday bedtime.<br />
<br />
This has to change. I don't know how, though. I don't have a good answer in this case. I know <strong>I</strong> have to change it, but I'm at a loss.<br />
<br />
Today's been pretty typical for a Wednesday around here. It started off with the Doctor and Fidget arguing over chair placement. And it's pretty much been downhill since.<br />
<br />
I'll have to think on this, come up with a plan before next Wednesday, because I've let it go on too long. And it's pretty awful servanthood on my part.<br />
<br />
So, there's my update for today.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-62107460470283763202015-03-07T01:08:00.000-07:002015-03-07T01:08:10.382-07:00When I am Forgotten... But Not ReallyToday I heard good news from a friend about mutual acquaintance. And I was happy for her. And sad for myself. And more than a little envious.<br />
<br />
Oh, I don't want to take her blessing away. I just want a similar blessing for myself. Desperately. I have prayed for YEARS for a miracle that would allow this blessing in my family's life. I have cried, <strong>pleaded, <em>begged</em></strong> for this same blessing from God for such a long time.<br />
<br />
And still I wait. So often, I feel forgotten. So often, I feel as though there is no plan, no miracle for me. I struggle. I cry. I sob and beg. And still, nothing. Silence. No miracle, no promise, no hope of a miracle.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, it's easy. Sometimes, I can let life just go on as it is. Sometimes, I get derailed by the wonderful blessings of others. And it seems unfair.<br />
<br />
Because God does not promise us health, or wealth, or happiness, or even our wants. He promises that all will work together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. But that good may very well await in eternity, not now or here.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, all I can cling to, all I can cry is an echo of the apostles, "To whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life." Where else can I go? I'll admit, if there truly was an easier way, I'm sure I'd at the very least be <em><strong>tempted</strong></em> to take it. Some days, I so badly want to throw in the towel.<br />
<br />
But I'm reminded that this isn't about me. It's not about what's in it for me.<br />
<br />
"Q: What is the chief end of man?<br />
A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." (Westminster Shorter Catechism.)<br />
<br />
That's what it's about. Glorifying Him. Sometimes -- OK, <strong>often</strong> -- I cannot see <em>how</em> He will be glorified in the circumstances, how His glory will shine through my situation. I cannot see the good that He's working. But then I look again -- it's <strong>my</strong> job to glorify Him through all of this.<br />
<br />
Even when I feel forgotten.<br />
<br />
Even when it seems unfair.<br />
<br />
Even when what I long for, what I cry out about is a <strong>good</strong> thing, a blessing only He can provide.<br />
<br />
Even when it seems that there is no plan.<br />
<br />
Even when I cannot see the next step.<br />
<br />
Even when I cry, beg, plead, and Heaven is silent.<br />
<br />
I must -- I <strong><em>must</em></strong> -- glorify Him. After all, He has the words of eternal life. He's the only one who does.<br />
<br />
"The L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen59">ORD</span> gave, and the L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen60">ORD</span> has taken away; blessed be the name of the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span>." (Job 1:21b).Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-40176761203441019532015-02-26T14:53:00.002-07:002015-02-26T14:53:37.047-07:00Sunday - Thursday (Days 5-9)I'm obviously several days behind.<br />
<br />
I'm trying. I really am.<br />
<br />
This morning, I was having a moment of self-pity. It doesn't really matter why. All that matters is I was. Normally, I would let it go on for a while, let it ruin the rest of my day.<br />
<br />
But this morning, I remembered the challenge. I remembered what I was doing. As a result, I handled what needed to be done, and my day has been much better than it would normally have been.<br />
<br />
I can't say that my attitude improved immediately, but it did improve. I am working, and I believe God is working in me.<br />
<br />
I have not been great at asking my husband what I can do to make his life better. Some days, I remember, but other days I do not.<br />
<br />
I have been feeling conviction that I need to waste less time, to spend more time taking care of the things I need to take care of. So, I am planning (for the rest of Lent, at least), to stay off the computer except when the girls are "down." This happens twice -- once for quiet period after lunch, and then at night when they're in bed. No one "needs" me during that time. And I usually use quiet period as down time anyway each day. I've become too dependent on the computer to fill up my days, and I have become lazy in housekeeping, parenting, and homeschooling. This is not a good way to live. It isn't being a good servant. So, at least for Lent, I am minimizing my computer time in order to maximize my service.<br />
<br />
It's been good for me to do this. Kind of a "reset" on some of my bad habits.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-21528770071827033802015-02-21T22:02:00.002-07:002015-02-21T22:02:41.455-07:00Saturday (Day 4)OK, today's the fourth day, and I'll admit it's difficult, this giving up myself.<br />
<br />
Because it isn't just about the outside. It's the heart. It's the WHY of it. I can't just DO the right thing. I have to have the right HEART the whole time. And it's hard enough to do the motions, to get them right. Adding a whole layer of heart attitude is an amazingly difficult thing. And I am failing miserably.<br />
<br />
Only, now I am more aware of it. Now I am truly TRYING to do better, do actually BE better. Because emptying myself of myself is important, and heart-wrenching, and raises all kinds of "I don't wanna!" Perversely, I want to hang on to my "right" to be irritated at times. I know it's sin nature.<br />
<br />
I'm beginning to understand why the Bible says that the unregenerate, the lost, are incapable of not sinning, of choosing not to sin. The bar is not our actions, but our heart, our attitudes, the WHY of it all. And we, on our own, are incapable of choosing well, of laying down our SELF and our rights.<br />
<br />
The funny thing is that I have asked the Engineer what I can do "today" to make his life better or easier. For the past three days, he hasn't had an answer.<br />
<br />
Here's my big failing -- I know crumbs and such on the floor bothers him. I know I should be sweeping, or vacuuming, or mopping (or some combination of the three) daily. So I am going to work on that. This week, I plan to sweep, vacuum, and/or mop each day.<br />
<br />
I also plan to work on being more HERE with the girls. I tend to be very focused on getting stuff done, on working, and I tend to be more quiet. I love my girls dearly, I just don't always do a good job communicating that. So I plan to work on that, too.<br />
<br />
Four days in, and already a course correction. Maybe one day, I'll have it all together. But somehow, I doubt it.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-49295362586374478482015-02-20T19:53:00.001-07:002015-02-20T19:53:57.556-07:00Thursday and Friday (Days 2 and 3)See, I'm already behind in my reporting!<br />
<br />
Yesterday was not the best. I did what I needed, but not with the best of heart attitudes. Giving up myself for Lent is much easier said than done. One of those, "it's a good idea in theory" but the reality is much harder.<br />
<br />
So, I made tea. Which so shouldn't be a "thing." But sadly, it is. It's a detail, and I don't do details well. The Engineer likes tea. (I guess, given where I live, I should say sweet iced tea.) Given all his dietary issues, tea with real sugar is one of the few things he can drink other than water and milk. It's also a source of calories. Which is another thing that he struggles with, getting enough calories. So I make tea. Only I'm not very consistent.<br />
<br />
Also, I took the girls to get something Elizabeth needed for a blood model for her science. But this time, not because I was being a servant, but because I decided I could handle the trip to the store. There was nothing serving about what I did. And that's the heart of the problem -- how my heart and attitude are. *sigh*<br />
<br />
Then there's today. Today, a good friend of mine took the Doctor and the Doctor's best friend (who is also my friend's son) out for the day. Just the four of us. Which was amazing, and fun and full of energy! I love these two kiddos, and am so very glad that they are friends. The Doctor is definitely a much happier girl because of knowing this boy. He is a blessing to her, and really, to our whole family.<br />
<br />
So, not much of a servant going on here. It was so very enjoyable, and really, easy on me. Only having one of the three, and having such a good friend with me was truly a blessing to my heart.<br />
<br />
Both days started with reading my passage for Lent. I still don't fully even understand this passage, even though I've read it and heard it preached on in my adult life. I hope, by spending forty-some consecutive days looking at, reading, thinking on, and acting on, the same passage, maybe it will sink in. Maybe it will make a real difference. Maybe I can finally get out of the way enough for God to get through to me.<br />
<br />
So, anyone reading this, pray for me. Please. Please pray that I will do what I need to do, that I will serve well this season. Pray that I will truly be a servant of God.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-71644151148137559502015-02-18T20:18:00.001-07:002015-02-18T20:18:43.899-07:00Ash Wednesday (Day 1)So, today marks the first day of Lent.<br />
<br />
The passage I am focusing on for this time is <a href="http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Phl&c=2&t=NASB" target="_blank">Philippians 2:1-11</a>. I had been focusing on Philippians, and then Sunday one of the elders preached from Philippians 2. The sermon fit with most of what I had been mulling over, and it just all seemed to fit.<br />
<br />
So, what idol am I giving up for Lent? Basically, the idol of "me." I am going to strive to serve this season. To serve with excellence.<br />
<br />
First of all, I am planning to ask the Engineer what I can do each day to make his day/life better. Then do it.<br />
<br />
Second, I plan to refocus on the girls. Mostly in relation to school. I am making some changes in how I do school with the girls, changing science around to make it more accessible to the Cowgirl, while letting the Doctor continue on with her interests. I already started the older two on Khan Academy for math, and I must say that so far, we love it. Two weeks in, and the Doctor has done 60% of her grade level; the Cowgirl has done 40%.<br />
<br />
Service must begin at home, so this is where I will start. I will pray for chances to serve, and then do what is in front of me. One day, one moment, at a time.<br />
<br />
So, how did today go? Well, honestly not too well. I did spend time in Bible reading and prayer, and did some serving the Engineer. I forgot to ask my question. And then forgot to get supper into the crock-pot, so I asked him to bring home supper. I was short with the girls, and rather distracted today. Overall, I was not a good servant.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, tomorrow is another day, and God's mercies are new every morning.<br />
<br />
That is all for now. I plan to write again tomorrow.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-39969802633656283842015-02-16T08:32:00.002-07:002015-02-16T08:32:35.094-07:00Idols in my Life, and LentWhen I was little, I thought about idols as those gold, bronze, or wooden statues that frequently tripped up the Israelites. Naturally, I was confused to find New Testament injunctions against Christians worshiping idols.<br />
<br />
As a teenager, my understanding was a bit broader. Mostly, money was emphasized. Lots of "you can't serve two masters," and the oft-misquoted "money is the root of all evil." (The actual quote begins "the LOVE of money...") And not much else.<br />
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Here's the truth, though. Anything can be an idol. Anything. Growing up mostly in the church, I am pretty good at "doing the right thing" at least outwardly. And of course I know all about not touching "evil" things.<br />
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But God wants more than outward compliance. He wants a changed heart. He doesn't want us to simply check off the "right" things. He wants joyful obedience from love and thankfulness. Kinda raises the bar, huh?<br />
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What does this have to do with idols? Well, it's easy to make doing the "right" thing, having the right appearance, the right schedule, not doing evil (even fleeing from it) the focus. And that becomes an idol.<br />
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I'm in a small book study group, and we're going through a book entitled <em>Peacemaking Women</em> by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler. One of the chapters is on idols.<br />
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I had always thought I was OK on this front. Boy, was I wrong. The authors urged us to go through a series of questions to determine what had taken God's place in my life. Two of the questions really hit me hard, convicted me, really. "I would be happy if only ________________________" and "Don't ask me to give up _______________________."<br />
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Two big things came immediately to mind, and more and more have come up as I have thought these things through. Basically, anything that my happiness hinges on, anything I would not be willing to give up, anything that gets in my way of joyful, thankful obedience <strong>is an idol.</strong> Ouch.<br />
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So, I have a challenge. What if, during Lent, instead of giving up something meaningless (like meat of Fridays), we gave up an idol?<br />
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How? Well, whatever the idol, when we find ourselves focusing, obsessing, working on that idol, what if we stopped, prayed instead. What if, for that period of time, we stopped actively seeking our idols and sought God instead.<br />
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What does this look like? It would be different for each of us. I am praying about what to do. I think I have an idea for me, and I may share it tomorrow or Wednesday. Lent begins on Wednesday, so I have a short time to make a rather large decision.<br />
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A few quick examples:<br />
If your idol is "the perfect body," give up exercise for those few weeks. Spend that time in prayer. Put your scales away. When anxiety creeps in, PRAY. Make God your focus, not your body.<br />
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If dieting is your idol, stop for Lent. Just lent. You can readjust your eating afterwards. Spend that time in prayer instead of hyper-focused on every bite of food you eat, focus on God.<br />
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If another baby (or a first baby) is your idol, give it over to God. Stop trying so hard for just a few weeks. Every time you find yourself obsessing over nurseries on Pinterest, stop, pray instead. Maybe stay off Pinterest for Lent.<br />
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All of those things are "good" things -- taking care of your body, eating right, and having children. They're all good, right things. Here's the problem I have found. As church women, we often find ourselves turning "good" things into "acceptable idols." Because the <strong>appearance</strong> is good, then it must be fine, right? But the problem is -- anything can be an idol. Homeschooling, modesty, submission, being gentle and quiet. Anything that we focus on rather than God.<br />
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Why not give up one big idol for Lent? You may find you don't need it after all. I have found freedom as I have released two biggies to God in the last couple of months. Do I still find myself thinking about these things, do I still pray that God would allow them to happen? Yes. But they are no longer obsessions. They no longer have the power over my thinking. I no longer wonder if God loves me because He hasn't allowed ________________ and ____________________ happen.<br />
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In the upcoming days, I will be sharing my plan. But I must be careful not to turn this "turning away from an idol" into an idol itself. If I do this, it will only be by the power of God in me. It will only be by the Holy Spirit working that I will be successful in turning away from an idol, <strong><em>not making a new one of this project</em></strong>, and truly worshiping God.<br />
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Will you join me? If you're reading this, will you join me? The Lent season is only a few weeks long. Will you trust God to show you your idol and to work in you to change that?<br />
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I plan to post daily during this time (at least Monday through Friday). I may fail, but I hope that even if my record isn't perfect, that there will be lifelong changes, lifelong lessons to learn during this time.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-62234925587282662582015-01-31T22:49:00.000-07:002015-01-31T22:49:10.605-07:0010,000 HoursI've been hearing and reading an interesting tidbit of information. Apparently, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become world-class at something, anything.<br />
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That got me to thinking... 10,000 hours... at 10 hours per day, that's about two and three-quarter years. At the other extreme, one hour a day, a bit under twenty-seven and a half.<br />
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I guess here's the thing. I'm going to be doing <em>something</em> for those 10,000 hours, right? What will be my world-class skill? Rocking-chair jockey? Homeschool mom? Wife? Loving individual? Servant?<br />
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I would imagine that 10,000 hours needs to be deliberate, a choice. One that includes learning new skills, acquiring a deepening knowledge and understanding of the skill at hand.<br />
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I guess it's mostly a wake-up call. Assuming no ill health, and no insomnia, I'll have been awake for 10,000 hours by (roughly) 1 November 2016.<br />
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What will I do with those 10,000 waking hours? What goals, dreams, skills will I work on? Where -- and who -- will I be 10,000 waking hours from now?<br />
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OK, enough philosophizing for now. But it is an interesting thought to ponder, isn't it?Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-29290858979674787162015-01-21T19:51:00.000-07:002015-01-21T19:51:33.151-07:00EncouragementDear Fellow Moms --<br />
I see you in Target, in Wal-Mart, at the library, in the grocery store. I see your online comments and blog posts. You have a small family, a big family. You breastfed, bottle-fed, or some combination. You vaccinate, or don't. You work outside the home, or are a full-time homemaker. You homeschool, public school, private school your kids.<br />
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Your decisions are different than mine, but made for the same reason -- you are doing what you believe best for your family and children. You are struggling with your choices, worrying that you are going to permanently ruin these amazing short people that God has entrusted to you for a time.<br />
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You sometimes cry yourself to sleep at night, worrying that one of the loud critical voices in the mommy wars will be correct, and you will wake up one morning and your children will hate you.<br />
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You are tired, tired of having the same conversation every single day. Listening to the same fighting at the breakfast table. Of teaching the same lesson for what seems to be the 437th time this school year.<br />
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Mostly, though, you are tired of having to defend yourself against attacks that come from people who do not know what went into the decisions your made, the research, prayers, tears, and finally surrender. The faith that you cling to that God is ultimately in control, and that your decisions will honor Him for that reason.<br />
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I see you. My decisions may be different than yours. The particulars of my life are certainly different than yours. But here's the bottom line -- God gave you those children to rear. Not me. Not your neighbor, not your cousin, not the friend-of-a-friend on Facebook who decided to "correct your thinking" on some decision or other of yours. Despite the fact that she's never even met you.<br />
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I see you, and more important, God sees you. He sees the struggle you have daily to serve this beautiful family, to be a servant as He has called you. He sees your heart for them, which stems from your heart for Him. And it is to Him you will ultimately answer, not to anyone else.<br />
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So, let's make a pact, you and I. You go on living for your audience of One, and I will do the same, and I will encourage you along the way as best I can. Maybe a smile. Maybe picking up that pacifier that your little one dropped for the 963,082 time this shopping trip. Maybe by educating my children about the differences of other children. Maybe by crying in my car as my heart breaks for you in your struggles. And you do the same. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, assume that you truly do have your children's best interest at heart, that you are truly competent to raise these small ones entrusted to your care by their Creator. And you do the same for me.<br />
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Let's see each other -- truly see each other, and look past the superficial differences and to the heart of each other. Let's stop the mommy wars, as much as we are able. Let's be at peace with each other, in so far as it is up to us. I'll trust you, encourage you, and cry for you at times, and you do the same for me, OK?<br />
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Let's fight this good fight together, teach our children to see people, not issues. After all, if God had wanted sameness, He could easily have made us that way. It seems to me that He likes the nuance, the beauty of the differences in His children.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-18211103482475336472014-12-15T21:51:00.000-07:002014-12-15T21:51:18.624-07:00Leadership MattersDon't know why this is weighing on me, but it is...<br />
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Growing up, I received some pretty theologically awful answers to the hard questions I was prone to ask. It seemed like any doubting was to be squelched, and tough questions were to be ignored or given pat answers. Sometimes dangerous pat answers.<br />
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Take for instance my (terrifying) question, "What is the unpardonable sin?" This was a question I asked during my teen years, and was given the answer, "Sinning away the day of grace." WRONG. Jesus clearly said that blaspheming the Holy Spirit is the one sin that will not be forgiven. Anyone with a fairly mediocre reading comprehension can figure that out. I wanted to know what He meant, but further questioning was highly discouraged, and I spent YEARS terrified that I would commit the unpardonable sin unknowingly, unintentionally.<br />
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Or take another situation that faces many people in our churches today -- depression and loneliness. I'm not talking about cabin fever, or the "let down" feeling that some feel around the holidays each year. I mean real, dark, clawing loneliness and/or depression that many in our churches struggle with daily. Growing up, it was made abundantly clear that "real Christians" do not feel abandoned or deep loneliness or depression. WRONG. It's sort of the emotional equivalent of telling someone that "real Christians" don't get cancer, or Alzheimer's, or MS, or any myriad other debilitating illnesses. Christians have the SAME struggles as everyone else. We are still part of this fallen world. Joyfully, Christians will NOT feel these things once we've received our new bodies in Heaven, BUT we are not there yet. <br />
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And this is why leadership matters. Humble leaders will admit they do not have all the answers, but will not grow angry at the questions. Godly leaders will always root their answers in the Bible, not in a more comfortable tradition of man. True leaders will be searching the Scriptures, submitting to the correction of the Holy Spirit where they have been wrong, or incorrect in their understanding.<br />
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Finding these leaders is not easy. Often those who encourage questions do not then stand on Scripture. They do not give Biblically sound answers, and many times their answer will depend entirely on the situation. Others will root themselves in biblically <em>sounding</em> answers and catch-phrases and angrily reply to earnest questions. Sadly, both of these types gain a large following. And lead many astray.<br />
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Being this kind of leader isn't easy, either. Encouraging those under our leadership to question, while admitting we do not have all the answers is humbling. It's so much easier to give a quick answer, or to grow angry with deeper questioning.<br />
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But here is what I remember about growing up in a situation where questions and uncomfortable emotions were met with anger, it teaches that God is not big. That vision of God is too small. He created us, He knows us far better than we know ourselves. He is fully big enough to handle our questions, to guide us into a bigger, better understanding of Himself and His purposes, and plans.<br />
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I still struggle with doubts about many things. Some (not all!) of those doubts and fears probably stem from the theologically unsound answers I received from leaders growing up. Some of my struggles could have been lessened with answers truly rooted in the Bible.<br />
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This is one of the reasons I encourage my girls to ask questions, one of the reasons I encourage them to seek out our pastor to answer questions. They sit with us during church services, and many times the Doctor or the Cowgirl will have a question about either the passage specifically or about the sermon. I am many times amazed at their questions, given their relatively young ages. The Doctor especially asks deep questions. The Cowgirl often wants to know the traditions, or culture behind the passage. They are quick to notice inconsistency in either content or application.<br />
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Basically, leadership matters. Their view of God will color your view of God, either to strengthen your faith, or to put stumbling blocks that lead to doubt. And your view of God will color someone else's. Be careful whom you follow, and be careful where you lead.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-64166060173649820152014-12-05T23:26:00.001-07:002014-12-05T23:26:33.441-07:00The Unworthy (Terrible) ServantI have been struggling for a while. For a long time (years, maybe), I begged God to allow me to see myself as He sees me.<br />
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In my mind, I had visions of being assured of being His beloved child, of Him showing me how much He cares.<br />
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Instead, the passage that leapt out at me one morning was Luke 17:7-10. Yeah. Not what I wanted to hear. Not a passage I can recall ever hearing a sermon on, in fact. "Unworthy servant?!"<br />
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I cried. Several times over the next several days. Each time my attitude about something stunk, I would pray, "I am an unworthy servant."<br />
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See, I am a terrible servant. I don't WANT to serve. I want to be left alone, to be allowed to do my thing, or sometimes, for others to serve me. I want to help those whom I choose, when I choose. And my heart rebels at the thought of being God's servant. And admitting my unworthiness.<br />
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I've been struggling again more recently. Rebellion against the whole servant thing again. It happens a lot with me. Some people seem to naturally serve. Not me.<br />
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The verse that keeps coming to mind? Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Mostly, the "do not grow weary" part keeps reverberating in my head. But I am weary.<br />
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So what to do? I pray. I am learning to pray differently. To focus on how much I have been forgiven, on what I am to do, not on the shortcomings of others. I am learning to ask that God change ME, my heart. my attitudes, and actions.<br />
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I am just beginning to see that I need to be doing things in service to God. In the story in Luke, I believe that God is the Master. It's <strong><em>Him</em></strong> I am serving, not people. Yes, the people around me may benefit from that service, but the service must be rendered to God, because He commands it, not because they need it, or I can do it, or it's convenient to my schedule. So, I guess it's time for changes. Changes that do not come easily to me.<br />
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Left to myself, I would not serve. My very being rebels at the thought. But I am a new creation in Christ, so serve I must. Starting with those closest to me. The ones who know me best, and the ones that I most expect to serve me. <br />
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Good night, and God bless.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6154320734362450127.post-62739933681973131422014-11-29T07:00:00.000-07:002014-11-29T07:00:04.272-07:00Ugly Speech (or Why I Rarely am Controversial on Facebook)Facebook -- I love it and I hate it. I have a FB page, and several friends. Many of whom do not agree with me, or with each other, on various topics. Most of these topics are benign, like whose baseball team should win the World Series, or whether Clemson University or the University of South Carolina has the best football team. (Go Tigers!)<br />
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Some of these things, however, are controversial. Like abortion, corporal punishment, the Second Amendment, school choice, capital punishment, and politics. I have opinions on all those topics. Very strong opinions. But I very rarely, if ever, voice them on Facebook.<br />
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Why?<br />
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Several reasons, really, the main one being I don't like where "discourse" in this country is going. Or not going, as the case may be. One person jumps on FB and posts a comment with a strong pro- or anti- opinion on one of the above topics. Someone else jumps in with an opposing view. Sometimes, they are civil. Most of the time, they are not. Then the original poster gets angry, and the original two, plus various supporters on each side, jump in and call names, cast aspersions, get ugly and personal. It's just not worth it.<br />
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I am called to be salt and light in this world. Christ said that the world will know us by our LOVE. Not by our clinging to our "rights" or clinging to our opinions. I cannot win someone to Christ if I will not love them. And calling ugly names is not loving someone, no matter how important the issue is. It will not matter in eternity where someone stood on the sanctity of life if they have rejected Christ. And woe to me if they reject Christ because of me, because they know I claim His name. Christ was humble. Yes, He stood up to corruption within His people. He called THEM names, said "harsh" things to them. But why? Because He was zealous that people be able to get to Him, and to His Father, and these people were standing in the way.<br />
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Sound much like today's discourse with so-called Christians? Are we standing in the way of people coming to Christ by the way we talk, to them and each other, when we disagree? Would those names that Christ called the Pharisees and other leaders of HIS people back then fit us today? Would they fit me? All too often, the answer is "yes."<br />
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I'll admit -- this is an area of weakness for me. I like being "right." I like having <em>just</em> the thing to say to fire back at someone who is "wrong." I know if I post something, or comment on something, that a firestorm might ensue. That things will be said to me, and I will say things back. And I will have hard feelings toward the person who was harsh or just plain mean. So, I keep my thoughts to myself. I prevent myself from sinning in the future by not speaking now. Generally, the point I would have made is already being articulated by someone else anyway. It's a way of loving others for me. Others can handle the back-and-forth with grace; without firing back, or holding a grudge. I struggle with those two things, so I keep quiet.<br />
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Another reason is this -- I will not change someone's mind with a FB post. I will not make someone see things "my" way. And they will not change mine. The best I can hope for is an "agree to disagree." Which, in my opinion, is best done one-on-one and face to face. You see, tone is lacking on a FB status or comment. I may write something that is sarcastic in my head, but it may be read seriously. (Or vice-versa.) Plus, once something is "out there," it is out there for all time. Ten years from now, that topic may be moot, but the harm I may have caused will still stand.<br />
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Finally, I do not know everything about everything. Often, the topic involves the "controversy du jour." And I rarely have all the facts. I do not know the situation, the ins and outs of various things. Sometimes, what seems to be the case isn't, and the unlikely is exactly what happened. It is best to hold my tongue (or, as it has been said, "better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.")<br />
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So, generally, I keep quiet on controversy on FB, saving my opinions for those who know me and my heart. Afterall, my primary objective is to be salt and light, and the best way to do that is to LOVE others.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225463689873561668noreply@blogger.com0