My First Plan of Action

I have a confession to make -- I have not been eating breakfast with my children.  I mostly eat at the same time, just not at the same table.  I have been using that time to do other things.

It needs to stop.  I need to start their day with them.  Really be there.

I need to hear their giggles before our school day starts.  I need to look into their little-girl faces and see their eyes when they aren't trying to master something, but are relaxed.  I need to hear what they joke about, what they tell each other.  These years go by so fast.

I could give you a list of excuses -- that we homeschool, that I am with them (either at home, or out and about) all the time, that I don't believe that I am supposed to be their "friend."  But the truth is that those are just excuses.  Excuses for my selfishness.

So, that changes now.  Or, rather, it changed this morning.  I sat at the counter and ate breakfast between my younger two.  And they thanked me for eating with them.

And the day went better.

So, tomorrow I'll do the same.  And the next day, and so forth.  I will make the conscious choice to love them this way, to focus on them by eating with them in the morning.  Will I fall back from time to time?  Most likely.  After all, I am human, with all the frailties and pitfalls and imperfections that being human entails.