Things I Love: Two Websites that Have Made an Enormous Difference in my Life

        Yesterday, I mentioned FLYLady.  I love her.  I don't follow her methodically, because her brain works differently than mine.  However, she was the first one who gave me hope for housekeeping.
        I don't remember how I stumbled upon her.  I also don't really know why I continued reading after I realized her starting place was clutter.  Because I am the "throw it away" queen around here.  I despise clutter.  My motto could easily be "when in doubt, throw it out."
        For whatever reason, I kept reading.  And I am so glad I did.  She resonated with me.  I remember crying the first time I read her.
        I, too, am a frustrated perfectionist.  All-or-nothing.  And when I stumbled upon her, I bawled like a baby.  Because she understood.  And I (of course), revamped my schedule around her methods.  Or tried to.  I still did not understand how to turn housework into projects, or that I needed to.  So I failed miserably.  But there were several key things I took from her for which I am grateful beyond words.  Mainly, timers, and habit forming.  If you're unfamiliar with this lady, go to her site.  It's so worth the time you'll spend there.
        The other website that gave me hope (and has caused more than one tearful evening for me) is A Slob Comes Clean.  Nony is AMAZING.  She taught me that laundry can be done in one day, instead of strung out over the whole week.  That revelation clicked something in my brain.  That something lead me to the thought that each day could be a "project."  As I write this, the old song "This is the day we (wash the clothes, bake the bread, etc.)" comes to mind.  (If you're unfamiliar with her, please check her out!  She's incredible.)
        Nony also helped me see the power of "non-negotiables" and writing them down.  I now have them framed in my cabinet.  When I add a new one, I print out a new sheet and replace the old with the new.
        Without these two women, I am pretty sure that I would still be spinning my wheels with housekeeping.  I was failing miserably.  You have NO idea how bad it was.  But these two, with their honesty, humor, and humility, helped me see what could be done.  They encouraged me, and though I'll probably never meet either of them, I'll always be thankful to them for their insight and honesty.

         Today we're planning to go visit friends.  No necessary "reason," just because.  And that's really the best reason, isn't it?
           Plans changed.  We're going to visit different friends, for the most wonderful reason of all!  But that's not my story to share...

Let me Introduce my Family

It occurred to me that I probably should document who all lives in this house.  That way, if someone other than me (or a very few close friends) ever stumbles upon this blog, there won't be confusion...

First up, my husband.  I'll call him The Engineer, as that is who he is.  It's not "just" what he does.  It's who he is.  How he thinks.  How great is it that he picked his ideal career right from the get-go?!  Definitely a blessing.

Then there's me.  I plan to refer to myself as me, I, myself, as I am not royalty. ;)  I'm a full-time homemaker and homeschooling mom.  The Engineer and I have three girls.

The oldest girl wants to "do something medical with people."  So I'll call her the Doctor.  (Maybe "doc" for short sometimes.)  She's currently 8, and has known this was her career path since before her 2nd birthday.

The middle girl currently wants to be a rancher.  She wants to raise cattle, chickens, goats, and horses.  So, I call her the Cowgirl.  At least for now.  It wouldn't surprise me if this ends up being her career, as it suits her well.  She'll be 7 soon.

The youngest I'll call Fidget.  It's what I call her in real life, anyway.  She has no idea what she wants to do, which is perfectly fine for an almost-4-year-old.  If she still hasn't decided when she's almost 24, we'll be having a different discussion.  The reason for her name is simple -- when in utero, she was the "busiest" of the three girls.  She moved all the time!  She's still this way.  Constant motion.

Finally, there's the animals.  We have an English mastiff (Stonewall), several goldfish (the Fish) in a fluctuating number, and 8 chickens (the Chickens).  The chickens are still getting their feathers.  They spend the days outside in their fence, but we bring them in the house at night.  (In a dog kennel in the laundry room.)  Stonewall is an indoor dog, and is as lazy as they come.  Unless a "stranger" comes to the door.  Then, he's wide awake and on high alert.

Things I Love: Mondays

          I didn't always love Mondays.  Not that long ago, Mondays were a source of frustration, the beginning of a week of frustrating days.           Before I knew that my mind worked best with projects, I had set my days up all wrong.  My week was structured in the worst possible way for my brain.  I had, with the best of intentions, set myself up for failure.  Week after week.  And it all started with Monday.
          My plan before had been to do a load of laundry each day, and clean one room per day.  That plan might work beautifully for many people.  But not for me.  It made laundry and housework a never-ending drudgery.  I FELT it all the time.  On top of that, I had to dig out of the weekend on Mondays.  I don't do much housework on the weekends.  This is an intentional decision on my part.  I want the weekends to be free for us to do stuff as a family, whether that's here or out and about.  Come Monday, though, I was resentful of the fact that nothing got done all weekend!  (I know, it's insanity!)
          Then we moved.  And something clicked.  Mondays, I set aside for "Reclaiming the house."  Meaning, all we do is straighten the house, put the weekend "back in the box," the way you would a card game once it was over.  It sets us up for success for the rest of the week.  It means that those "room rescues" that FLYLady is so fond of actually maintain the order.  (If you've stumbled on this blog, and are not familiar with FLYLady, go check her out.)
          And so I love Mondays.  I see results over the whole house, and I'm not stressed about "cleaning" yet, as that happens (most) Wednesdays.  I'm still learning, still figuring things out.  But I cannot tell you how much better life is now that I've reworked the schedule to make each day a project.  I can now say that I love Mondays.

          As for loving people today, I'm working on a gift for someone.  I love making gifts for people dear to my heart.  I especially love making practical gifts.  So, this gift is imminently practical, for a very dear friend.  It will take a few days to finish, but I'm only going to write about it today.  Unless I write about it again when I finally give them to my friend. ;)

Things I Love: Family Meal Time

We eat supper together as a family each evening.  And I love it.  Maybe it's because it's all I've really known.  Growing up, my parents, siblings, and I ate together nearly every evening.

Now my husband and I do the same with our children.  I cook 6 or 7 evenings out of each week.  Generally the other evening is take-out, and my husband picks it up on his way home from work.

I know that as the children get older and more "involved," this may change.  But for now, this is one way we can enjoy time together each day.

As for loving people today, I've not planned anything specific.  Today is laundry day for us, and just getting the job done will feel like an accomplishment.  After that, I may play a game with the girls... we'll see!

I'm updating this to add --
I went out shopping for birthday party supplies right after supper.  As I generally dislike shopping, and am D.O.N.E. by supper-time, this was definitely an act of love!  I got most of the rest of the supplies for the upcoming birthday party, and made my (hopefully) last Amazon order.

Things I Love: True Friends

          Friends.  I love my friends.  There is nothing better than a good, true friend.
          Now, let me be really honest, and admit that I don't need -- or want -- 973 "friends."  Give me one or two (or maybe three) true, tested-and-tried, transparent friends.  That's truly all I need.  All I have ever needed.  I can't keep up with more than that.
          I realize that I'm an oddity in this.  I know most people take a "more is better" attitude when it comes to friends.  I find that, for me, that's just too much.  So give me a very few quality friends, and I am golden!

           Loving people.  Today, we had loads of fun!  The girls and I decided to test homemade bubble stuff recipes.  We made them Saturday night, and today, we had friends over and tested them.  The kids ran and played in the backyard, we tested bubble recipes (and I'll admit the winner surprised me!).

          We got to have lunch together, and they had to go home.  It was fun, and we were so happy to get to see dear friends.  I love having true friends over.  It gives me the opportunity to let people see us as we really are, not all polished up for company.  And if you can't let true friends see how you really are, can you truly call them friends?

Things I Love: Small Changes

         I love small changes.  This is something I've only recently begun to grasp.  See, I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person.  I want to do it all NOW!  And for years (too many to mention), that's precisely what I tried to do.  I tried to make big, sweeping, monumental, change.  Change it all right now.  Turn-myself-into-an-entirely-different-person change.  Knuckle down and add instant discipline.
          Only, my brain doesn't work like that.  I love the planning, the goal-setting, the making stuff to go with the plan.  When it comes to executing the plan, I overdose on change, and usually by Wednesday (if I start the New Plan on Monday), I am done.  D.O.N.E.  I hate the new plan, and myself for failing.
          So, this time, I am doing small changes.  Changes that I can live with.
          Picture it like this...  Have you ever watched an artist paint a picture?  I look at it, think it's beautiful as-is, but the artist adds highlights to the water, making it sparkle; or shadows, highlights, and tiny lines to the trees, making them look real; or impossibly fine lines to a bird, giving it amazing feathers.  This is what I'm talking about -- the seemingly small changes that add so very much.

           How am I loving my family through this?  I am making those small changes, one each week or so, and focusing on that going forward.  I've read that it takes between 21 and 30 days to make a new habit.  I don't know  much truth there is in that, but it makes sense.

           I am also being intentional about which habits I choose.  For far too long, I chose poorly.  I focused on housekeeping solely.  I did not focus on the people in the house I'm keeping.  And my efforts were too large.  I wanted to change my whole routine quickly, and only where the house was concerned.  This time, I have made my first habit something for my husband, the second one has been a housekeeping habit, the third one (which I am starting today) will be focused on my children.  Yes, it means that the housework changes aren't happening as fast as they "could," BUT I have learned that I cannot make too many changes at once, and I am not a compartmentalizing person.  My whole life is integrated, and I must make my habits this way.
          We are also heading to church today, to worship, learn, and fellowship with other believers.  This is a very loving thing, also.  And frequently challenging!
            I ended up staying home with a sick kiddo.  Our oldest ("the doctor") came down with a stomach bug last night.  So I kept her home.

Things I Love: Good Neighbors

          Can I just say, we hit the neighbor jackpot with our backyard neighbors?  Seriously, they are wonderful people.  They brought us homemade brownies the first night we were here.  Their youngest plays with all three of mine.  They have given us advice on our chickens, shared eggs with us, and generally just made us feel welcome.  I know if I have a problem, I can call her.  My children have a friend close by.  They don't mind our large (and at times loud! dog).  They look out for us, and we look out for them.  It's wonderful!  And I am thankful.  So very thankful.

          We've had something come up in our church family.  So, my husband will be doing some auto repairs today.  Don't know what today will look like, but sometimes that's the best way to express love -- being willing to NOT plan things so that we can behave as the Body of Christ ought.